Sonoma Wire Works - Support Forums

by **flexkill** » Wed Apr 01, 2009 4:13 am

Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit the Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant?

So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward, with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet, and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's a$$, and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack -- he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

by **mickeymix** » Wed Apr 01, 2009 4:15 am

Good one Jess :lol:

by **Wedgebill** » Wed Apr 01, 2009 4:19 am

Is this something you were doing while you wait for phase 2 Jesse ?

by **flexkill** » Wed Apr 01, 2009 4:22 am

Yeah I laughed my ass off when I read this.....it's a joke BTW ...lol...I didn't really do this.....for the record...lol....

I shoulda posted that in the title ....didnt think of it...sorry.

by **Wedgebill** » Wed Apr 01, 2009 4:35 am

You mean it was really a Jack Russells ass you were sniffing ???

by **mickeymix** » Wed Apr 01, 2009 4:40 am

Hopefully he didn't give the dogs "bollocks" a lick in front of everyone in line.

:rolleyes:

by **pbbobkanobi** » Wed Apr 01, 2009 4:54 am

Wallmart = Freakshow USA

Where do these people come from and how did they get a drivers license? There is always someone selling puppies in their pajamas....so tragic. Always someone paying with pennies and nickels....for cigarettes and diapers. They sell computers now....to who?

Why dont they just film Jerry Springer and Dr. Phil at Wallmart to cut out the middle man?

by **flexkill** » Wed Apr 01, 2009 5:24 am

pbbobkanobi wrote:Wallmart = Freakshow USA

Where do these people come from and how did they get a drivers license? There is always someone selling puppies in their pajamas....so tragic. Always someone paying with pennies and nickels....for cigarettes and diapers. They sell computers now....to who?

Why dont they just film Jerry Springer and Dr. Phil at Wallmart to cut out the middle man?

i try not to buy anything from wallmart if i can help it.....they are single handily fooking up America!!!!!!!!!!!!

by **Rotund** » Wed Apr 01, 2009 11:10 am

pbbobkanobi wrote:Wallmart = Freakshow USA

Where do these people come from and how did they get a drivers license? There is always someone selling puppies in their pajamas....so tragic. Always someone paying with pennies and nickels....for cigarettes and diapers. They sell computers now....to who?

Why dont they just film Jerry Springer and Dr. Phil at Wallmart to cut out the middle man?

You are so right. I know people that are scared to go there.

I think it is like a trip to the wild kingdom park but you can't stay in your car. I pretend I'm Captain Kirk and just landed the Starship Enterprise before I get out of my car to go in. Everyday is a new adventure. You should sell to them. Now that's an adventure and do I have stories that will "flip your lid." You know the headquarters is in Bentonville Arkansas. Now I know I just insulted somebody. But the mascot of UofA is a HOG.

by **Rotund** » Wed Apr 01, 2009 11:12 am

Oh and I LMAO. great joke. I think I can get some use out of it.

by **fooks** » Wed Apr 01, 2009 12:19 pm

hey! easy on wal-mart. i miss that place!

try finding a set of spark plugs for a 76' dodge ram and a 30-06 w/ a gun rack in the same store here in hk.

craig co. great wal-mart!
mattoon, il. tremendous!
collinsville, il. amazing!
rawlins, wy. a drive but worth it!
n. conway, n.h. bought my 1st PS there, i just turned 42.

funny joke too.

My RiffWorld · by **bluesydude** » Wed Apr 01, 2009 12:25 pm

pbbobkanobi wrote:Wallmart = Freakshow USA

Where do these people come from and how did they get a drivers license? There is always someone selling puppies in their pajamas....so tragic. Always someone paying with pennies and nickels....for cigarettes and diapers. They sell computers now....to who?

Why dont they just film Jerry Springer and Dr. Phil at Wallmart to cut out the middle man?

How much do you think it cuts into their profit by making all those little puppy pajamas?

by **tapping5150** » Wed Apr 01, 2009 1:57 pm

Very funny, flex! There's your sign!

Gotta love Bill Engvall.

by **gromitsdad** » Wed Apr 01, 2009 4:06 pm

Holy crap.

by **cwight** » Wed Apr 01, 2009 4:09 pm

We call them chavs....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqyU2z-FJr8

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